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If they follow what society tells them to do, they often end up "good guys" who are taken advantage of, mistreated, and disrespected.
In one sense, this is a story about the exploitative possibilities of online matchmaking: the opportunities to flagrantly misrepresent oneself, the ease of trawling for specific targets.(John, who was white, pursued only Asian women, leaving his girlfriends with the icky sense that they’d been fetishized as well as deceived.) Still, romantic scammers aren’t an invention of modern courtship and its digital devices.Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor Last week, I discussed why women can't find a "good" man (here).In that article, I explained my hypothesis that women are stuck in a double-bind between what they are told through modern social norms and their own biological motivation.Overall, they report that there is often little incentive for men to date and even less for them to consider long-term commitments.
In a previous article, I put forward the notion that individuals were not "afraid" to date—rather they simply did not have sufficient incentive to do so (see here).
All of them had received the couch-spooning treatment.
John was a champion girlfriend accumulator, the ringmaster of a romantic circus that only he could see.
Dating in past generations was viewed as a means for teens to get to know one another, find suitable partners, and to eventually (God willing) marry. College men phoned their sweethearts early in the week, asking permission to take them out on the weekend.
In the 1950's suitable dates entailed a couple sharing a straw at the local soda shop. Helen Sheumaker, professor at Miami University of Ohio, the roles played by men and women in relationships paralleled their economic roles; men were the providers, fronting the bills because they earned a steady income and women were the consumers, consuming beauty enhancing products and men's chivalrous attempts to win over their hearts. Dates consisted of dinner followed by a movie or ice cream.
This week, I will discuss how that double-bind for women may have resulted in a double-bind for men as well.